The first 5 weeks were a blur.

I’d pictured myself home with the baby, turning into a couch potato. That’s not how it went. This time around, family/friends really wanted to meet the baby in those first couple of weeks, which was different from my first. That means a lot to me even if it’s difficult because my family is my world. Then came weeks of medical appointments.

The appointments

Right after birth, there were appointments galore for both of us. The baby lost a pound by the time we left our 4-day hospital stay, then lost another pound once we got home. That meant more doctor visits to figure out how to get his weight back up and to check progress.

Then there were my own appointments, including a post-delivery complication that ended in a D&C. I still had large pieces of placenta in my uterus that needed to be vacuumed out.

I also worked with a lactation consultant to help with a few things I’d noticed in the baby: tension, latch issues, and a strong preference for lying on one side. That led to a chiropractor referral and 12 recommended sessions.

The days already feel short. It’s wake up, feed, pat back to sleep, repeat 1.5 hours later. Now squeeze in getting two kids ready, drive time, and doctor visits, and the days disappear before they even happen.

Eventually I was so traumatized by the driving, the blowouts right before walking out the door, and the heat that I ignored every appointment, call, and consult and just stayed home for 2 weeks. My parents came to help and were with me almost every day.

Which brings me to 6 weeks.

6 Weeks

Things are starting to make sense. It’s still challenging, but I can finally wrap my head around having two kids at home as a “single mom.” I put that in quotes because my husband went back to work three weeks postpartum, so I’m doing most of this on my own.

I got over the initial “crap, my husband is going back to work, how am I going to do this alone?!” panic. There were a dark couple of days of worrying about routine, caring for a two-year-old, and keeping a newborn alive. After the first two days solo, it felt manageable. Then it stretched into two weeks and I hit another wave of panic, partly from sleep deprivation. My parents stepping in took a lot of that pressure off.

Here’s what 6 weeks postpartum looks like:

Sleep. The baby sleeps about 4 hours at a stretch at night. He’d go 5 if we let him, but our doctor and IBCLC both told us not to let it pass 4. He wears an Owlet sock every night, so we have solid sleep data. We’re usually in bed after 10 p.m. and get our one long stretch.

Feedings. Every 2–3 hours during the day. One feed in the middle of the night, somewhere between 1 and 3 a.m., and another between 4 and 7 a.m.

Growth spurts. These throw me for a loop because they come with cluster feeding. I’m sleep deprived and completely touched out by both my newborn and my toddler, and he’ll start rooting after he’s already been on the breast for 30 minutes. One day he latched for two hours, and I seriously considered quitting breastfeeding altogether.

Before I realized these endless feeds were growth spurts, I felt like a failure. I was convinced he was hungry and my body wasn’t keeping up. That wasn’t it. Babies cluster feed to signal our bodies that they’re growing and it needs to make more milk.

Strangest part: he was born on a Saturday, and both of his growth spurts so far started on Saturdays and lasted a few days. I know babies don’t understand time, but weeks seem to mean something to this little guy.

Schedule. I’m super type-A, so I thrive on a predictable schedule. I had one with my toddler, but it’s out the window now. The good news: there’s no schedule, but there’s somewhat of a routine with no times attached. The morning feeding sets the tone for the day. Afterward, I go back down for a nap until my toddler wakes up, unless the baby doesn’t settle after his feed. It looks roughly like this:

• 7 a.m. Feeding
• 9 a.m. Big sister wakes up
• Semi get ready (brush teeth, change if possible, make bed)
• Quick yogurt snack for big sister so she doesn’t get hangry
• 9:30–11 a.m. Breakfast at some point (usually eggs, fruit, and toast with avocado or cherry tomatoes)
• 10 a.m. Feeding
• 11 a.m. Baby naps
• Play and clean up
• 1 p.m. Toddler naps
• Dad gets home
• 5 p.m. Dinner
• 8 p.m. Toddler sleep routine
• 9 p.m. Toddler sleeps
• 10 p.m. Baby goes down for the night

From dinner on, it’s feeds and contact naps until bedtime.