Michelle Isabel

I am getting ready to push a baby out of my mid-30s vagina in a little under three months. 

I treated this pregnancy drastically different from my first. We had a miscarriage in 2025 so it was hard to get excited for this pregnancy. I didn’t go see my doctor until I was four months pregnant. By the time I had my first ultrasound and had blood work done I was five months. I am surprisingly delighted to have waited. Women have been giving birth to children since the beginning of time so it was empowering to know that my body just knows what to do. I didn’t have those extra initial appoints, field questions about labs or tests, navigating appointments during 1st trimester when I was so tried, and didn’t have concerns with the millions of things that can go wrong during pregnancy. I simply went when I knew when baby was viable and did everything I needed to in one go.

I will talk more in detail about my miscarriage later but for now, I want to talk about some of the differences from this pregnancy versus my first. 

With my first pregnancy Eric made me his world and cared for me in ways I miss this time around. He’s busy attending to our toddler and managing a full-time career. But I remember the first pregnancy being so magical. Not just because it was the first but my husband and I were in tune with each others needs and feelings. It was like we were living on this glorious warm cloud where everything felt effortless like the honeymoon stage of our marriage. We did everything together and talked about every experience throughout those nine months. We were so connected he ended up getting all the pregnancy symptoms, which I appreciated.

This pregnancy feels more lonely and the under appreciation for what my body is going through can be all consuming. I’ve learned to accept it’s just different because of the toddler while also still advocating for myself. I have had to constantly remind my husband that I can’t quite do all the things he’s used to me doing while six months pregnant.

Eric had gone to every appointment and every ultrasound. This time around I have gone to majority of my appointments alone and he attended a small portion of a second ultrasound. I researched the hospital, interviewed the doctor’s and primarily made the selection alone for my OB. I had an emergency c-section for my first so I’m not quite fully going for the same experience but I selected our hospital specifically due to their VBAC rates. 

This time around I’m a more confident mother and this is probably my favorite part. The idea of delivering a baby and bringing them home feels familiar already. We don’t need to figure out the drive home from the hospital with a car seat. We have like 3 car seats. Thanks to our village we’re not thinking about diapers or bottles, pacifiers or boppies. It’s pretty low key, which has allowed me to focus on something more important: mindset and body. That’s something I only half did the first time around.

The Mind

For this pregnancy, I have spent significant time focused on language that’ll help our toddler process the upcoming changes. She’s been pretty positive about the experience. She kisses my belly, lifts my shirt in public to show off the baby, and asks to see the baby randomly throughout the day.

She and I are very close so when I say she’s gotten clingy the last 2ish months, I mean that very literally. We already love being around each other and I am the preferred parent. She sleeps in our bed and she used just do her own thing in between my husband and I. As of late, she looks for intensely mid-sleep and cuddles right up on my neck or belly and just falls asleep there.

I have been more focused on consuming content that helps me understand how to work with my body during labor. I spent the majority of my first pregnancy in third trimester in anxiety. My brain couldn’t comprehend how a baby head was supposed to forcefully push out of my vagina. I have since learned that it was the devil feeding me lies. He did everything to convince me God’s design was impractical and flawed.

The Body

For this pregnancy I’m older and classified as AMA (advanced maternal age) high-risk pregnancy even though I only surpassed the age limit by 1 month. I actually don’t feel that I have a geriatric pregnancy. I don’t have any of the symptoms. I am feeling all the normal things that come with another pregnancy. My body shifted right into pregnancy mode right away. Versus with my first my body gradually opened and adjusted over the 9 months. For this pregnancy, by four months I already felt 8 months prego. I also have a toddler who is a mommy’s girl so that’s quite physically added to my weight. I gained 20 pounds in 2 months and my body is not about it. 

I feel significantly more tired but I know that’s do to the toddler. For my first pregnancy I was fully remote and made my own hours. I was a contractor at the time so I didn’t have a set schedule. I napped when I need, worked in my bed when I needed, prioritized working out and Eric was unemployed so he took an immense amount of care of me. From food to my appointments, he took care of it all.

At 28 weeks I requested accommodations to be fully remote for the remainder of the pregnancy. Quality of life has improved tremendously. I don’t have to spend 2-3 hours driving to and from the office. I eat healthy and nutritious meals instead of processed or packaged items to prepare me for a full 8-hour day. I drive less, use less gas, less groceries, I can sleep/rest more, less laundry, and more time during my breaks to get stuff down around the house that i’d normally have to squeeze into a Friday night or Saturday.

All in all I feel like this pregnancy is less daunting and feels more routine. Your body and mind know exactly what to do so you’re not worried or thinking about the unknowns from the first. That makes it more freeing even if not as novice.